Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss.
Ok, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss".
Well the first thing I do is--

Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct work-flow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micro-manage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss)

Hit on Deborah (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)

Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss)
No Promotion (like a boss)
5th of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!

Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)

Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the Sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an... average day for you then.
No doubt.
You chop your balls off and die.
Hell yeah.
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
Nope.
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.
Nah, that ain't me.
OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.
I'm the boss.
Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about four hundred times.
I'm the boss.
Ya, ya, I got it.
I'm the boss.
No, I heard you, see you later!
(like a boss)