If they could see me now, that little gang of mine,
I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top - drawer, first - rate chums I attract.
All I can say is, "Wow - ee! Look - a where I am.
Tonight I landed, pow! right in a pot of jam."
What a set up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!

If they could see me now, alone with Mister V.,
Who's waiting on me like he was a maitre d'.
I hear my buddies saying:
"Crazy, what gives? Tonight she's living like the other half lives."
To think the highest brow, which I must say is he,
Should pick the lowest brow,
which there's no doubt is me.
What a step up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!

They'd never believe it,
They'd never believe it,
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!