Kermit, let's begin
Describe the day you played Berlin
We rehearsed and then we walked about
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
That night at ten o' three
Were you inside the portrait gallery?
My alibi is watertight
The audience saw me sing all night
Monsieur we know you did the crime
I was on stage that whole time
Ask who sang Rainbow Connection
Thank you Kermit, no more questions

Hello, I think it's time for good cop, romantic cop
Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside
Now's your chance to save your hide
Oh Gentlemen, I did not know
It's a crime to steal the show?
Tell us how the art was taken
If you want to save your bacon
I haven't seen your missing art
All I've stolen is audience hearts
We'll catch the swine that did this job
Give up the pig puns, creep
Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion
Thank you Piggy, no more questions

I think she likes me
I don't think your puns are helping the investigation
You know, I think they did it
No they didn't
Yes they did, and we can pin it
If they did, how did they do it?
If they didn't, how did they didn't?
If they didn't then it's easy, 'cause they simply didn't do it
If they did it, then I knew it, but we've nothing that can prove it
Urgh
Oh, excuse me

Let's go from the start
What do you know about the stolen art?
I didn't know there was a plan
Your accusation is far out man
The chances of us committing a crime
Are less than point zero zero nine
Shern de shern de herf
Sher de chicky en de farney hug
Argh! Argh! Ahaha
Wank wank wank
I, I can do an Elvis impression?
Thank you Muppets, no more questions!

They didn't
No, they didn't
There's no way they did the crime
They couldn't, they're too stupid
They're not criminal masterminds
We do not know who did it, but we know who didn't do it
So we know who didn't do it yes we know who didn't do it
They're incapable of being culpable!