So you want to be a great lover
Ninja Sex Party will help you train
So much knowledge to discover
We'll shoot a hot load of wisdom all over your brain

Let's go! It's time for sex training
Put on your weightlifting gloves and a thong
You've been chosen by angels
Now you're the master of your destiny and your shlong

Lesson one

You need to sharpen your senses
So get in the closet and contemplate boobs
We'll wait out here with your girlfriend
Unrelated question:
Where do you keep all your lube?

Rock on! Now stay in that closet
You rule! And also we locked you inside
There is no reason to doubt us
This is what happens when science and romance collide

Lesson two

Now you should buy us all nachos
But not for yourself. You're training. No food!
And get an energy drink for your girlfriend
She needs to rehydrate
Although we've been giving her fluids

Oh yeah! You don't have to pay us
We're just happy that we could help
You can come back in an hour
Fondle my balls!
Sorry. I was talking to someone else

You're now a total dickmaster
All hail the Lord of Vaginas and Time!
Go forth and satisfy millions
Oh by the way we'll have sex with your girl at the chime

Yay!