Ever since I was young You know, I hated dissention Among my peer group It caused a whole lot of tension When the other kids were slouching I would stand at attention And I've always looked so good in white Now I'm a bad mamma-jamma And I rock a mean helmet If I see a rebellion Then you know I'm gonna quell it I'm a certified, full-blown Armor-wearing zealot And it feels so good to know I'm always right You can see exotic worlds across the galaxy In the empire Buford and baljeet: In the empire You can be all that they want you to be You get a 401(k) and your meals are free In the empire In the empire In the empire In the empire I don't know but I've been told The rebels need to be controlled We'll round them up and put 'em all in stocks But first we've gotta get darth vader socks! It's so not fair! I mean, why am I still on sock detail When gladys from accounting got promoted to commander And she doesn't even know how to hold a blaster? No, I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam four times She held it backwards and upside down But no, she's a second cousin of some midlevel darth And so she gets a promotion? What about me? If they would just open their eyes They'd see that I've got everything it takes I could be the stormiest stormtrooper evaah! Ya feelin' better? Yeah, thanks You can see exotic worlds across the galaxy In the empire Buford and baljeet: In the empire You can be all that they want you to be You can march to the beat of conformity In the empire In the empire In the empire In the empire In the empire In the empire In the empire!