Here comes Ted with his best friend Fred
Coming up the avenue
Here comes Mike and you look just like him
Up and down the avenue

Those guys stay up on the party line
They make you cry in every way that you can
Those guys have money for you anytime
But you never make out with them

Here comes Brady with his fifty dollar baby
Coming out the alleyway
And here comes Davey with his funny little lady
Wiping all her tears away

Those guys, they cause you to fantasize
They dish it out, they make you comply like a man
Those guys have money for you anytime
But you never make out with them

Making out with the funny little lady
What you gonna do right now?
Making love with a funny little woman
Don't you wanna take me down?

Those guys stay up on the party line
They make you cry in every way that you can
Those guys have money for you anytime
But you never make out with them