The man's in the moon and the cat's in the criddle
And I'm in the dog house
It never would have happened if my best friend
Wasn't such a loud mouth

Well she heard things that she don't like
about my nights out
Now she's on me like an old cheap suit
I'm in the doghouse

Well the dog's eating good and he don't care
If I'm chewin' bones in the cold night air
The whole thing seems just a little unfair
There he sits in my favourite chair

Whoever said they were man's best friend
Had it all wrong
If she finds out you've been runnin' with the pack
You'll be doggone
She says she's got a bone to pick
I should have sat up and should have fetched a stick
i cant stay here scratching fleas and ticks I'm in the doghouse

Well I can tell things are gettin' real bad
I bit the mailman
I been chasin' cars up and down the street
Instead of women
The dog and my wife are gettin' mighty thick
Lookin' through the window just makes me sick
This old dog better learn a new trick
I'm in the doghouse