William Shakespeare's In My Cat

The Arrogant Worms

I never much believed in reincarnation 
Thought it was only people's imagination 
But now I'm forced into some reconsideration 
'Cause something's happened to my cat 
That deserves some explanation 

William Shakespeare's in my cat 
My kitty is the bard 
He used to be a playwright 
Now he's digging up the yard 
He's still a cat in most respects 
He likes to meow and purr 
But now I introduce him as the cat 
That wrote Richard the third 

I took him to see Phantom 
He said it was quite nice 
But he can't go see Miss Saigon 
Until he kills some mice 
(Until he kills some mice) 

William Shakespeare's in my cat 
It sometimes seems so deep 
The guy who wrote Twelfth Night 
Chews on my socks while I'm asleep 
I'm really quite impressed 
I own the cat who wrote MacBeth 
But if something's rotten in this state 
It's just his fishy breath 

'Cause he wrote Romeo and Juliet 
But his greatest story yet 
Is coming back as someone's pet 
And gettin' neutered by the vet 
He got his paws caught in a net 
Then he said to be or not to meeeow! 

William Shakespeare's in my cat 
He rarely ever talks 
He makes his loudest statements 
Standing in the litter box 
He sleeps on all my shelves 
And throws my books about the house 
It doesn't sound like prose 
When he bats his squeaky mouse 

Sam Beckett's plays are witty, 
Same thing for Bernard Shaw, 
Oscar Wilde is pretty, 
But none of them have paws 
(None of them have paws) 

William Shakespeare's in my cat 
He chases bits of fluff 
John Milton's in my goldfish 
But I never liked his stuff 
I'm thinking that Franz Kafka 
Really came back as a bug 
And I hope Andrew Lloyd Webber 
Will stay underneath my rug 

'Cause he wrote Romeo and Juliet 
But his greatest story yet 
Is coming back as someone's pet 
And gettin' neutered by the vet 
He got his paws caught in a net 
Then he said to be or not to meeeow! 

Take it, Trevor! 
(Trevor's solo on what sounds like a Jew's-Harp-style instrument) 

He wrote Romeo and Juliet 
But his greatest story yet 
Is coming back as someone's pet 
And gettin' neutered by the vet 
He got his paws caught in a net 
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!
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