F  - 133211
G  - 320033
C9 - x32333

Intro (not particularly accurate!) (x2):
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B|-----------------------------------------------------------3p1--|
G|--------0----------0----------------------0--------0------------|
D|-----2-----2------------3------2-------2--------2-----2----2----|
A|--3-------------0-------------------3--------3------------------|
E|----------------------------------------------------------------|


E|--------------|
B|--------3--1--|
G|--------------|
D|--------0-----|
A|-----2-----3--|
E|--3-----------|



[Verse]
C            Am           F                C
I once was a happy man of sound and stable mind
C       Am              G      C
Then my neighbour got a dog
C        Am            F               C
He put a ribbon on its head to make it cute
C            Am            G     C
But it still looked like a chihuahua

   F      C       G                C
He had me over to watch it sit and beg
   F      C        Am              G
It bit my knee and made love to my leg
C            Am                F          C
Now it barks all the night and all of the day
C                 Am           G       C
Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn

Repeat intro

[Verse]
C            Am           F                C
I didn't get to sleep last night till very late
C       Am              G      C
The stupid dog barked and grrred
C        Am            F               C
I woke up late and ran to catch the bus
C            Am            G     C
But I slipped on a turd

   F      C       G                C
I was certain it wasn't one of mine
   F      C        Am              G
With that the dog had crossed over the line
C            Am                F          C
I wanted to exterminate it and all its kind
C                 Am           G       C
From my lovely little suburb

(Tempo change!)

[Verse]
          C
I'm gonna kill the dog next door

Ain't gonna bark anymore
F
Cause this is judgment day
    G
The little runt has got to pay

        C
No more turds on my lawn

That stupid mutt will soon be gone
F
I'm gonna kill kill kill
G
Kill kill kill kill that dog

  F              G             C
I see the little monster in my garden
G                          C
So I grab an axe and off I go
F     G              C
And I try my best to get it
Am                       G
All I do is sever my big toe

  F              G             C
My neighbour comes outside to calm me
G                          C
He says his dog and me should just be friends
   F               G            C      Am
He puts his little pet in my forgiving hands
F                           G
Then it starts to bite so I strangle it with all my might

          C
I'm gonna kill the dog next door

Ain't gonna bark anymore
F
Cause this is judgment day
    G
The little runt has got to pay

        C
No more turds on my lawn

That stupid mutt will soon be gone
          F
I'm gonna kill kill kill
     G
Kill kill kill kill that dog

  F              G             C
Now the stupid mutt's in doggie heaven
G                          C
I strangled it to death and now I'm free
F     G              C
But my trouble ain't quite over
Am                       G
My neighbour called the cops on me

  F              G             C
I end up at the police station
G                          C
Where I am told that I must pay
F     G              C
A three hundred dollar fine
Am                       G
Wow what a great value I think I'll kill my neighbour too

C
I'm gonna kill the guy next door

Won't call the cops anymore
  F
I never liked him anyway
      G
Three hundred isn't much to pay

C
There are turds on my lawn

They must be his, his dog is gone
    F
I'm gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill kill kill
     G
Kill kill kill kill kill that guy