Not Worth Living For

How could I go so low as to let my emotions control me? I'm
 spitting words I don't even believe to prove points I know
 are void. I'm letting the situation consume me, and it 
never did me any fucking good. Yet day after day, I don't 
do the things I should. Sometimes its so difficult to do 
what is right. And patience is so seldom attatined, I'm 
waiting out this storm through the seemingly endless rain.
And though I know times will improve, the moment can be so 
discouraging. How could I go so low as to think short term 
when the future is all that matters? Cause I know the 
mistakes I make could leave my life simply to be shattered.
 I look back on what I said and I realize I really fucked 
things up. I'd give anything only to regain every ounce of 
your lost trust. Have you ever wondered what it's like to 
do everything right? To live up to stupid expectations, to 
never disappoint? If you feel like letting it all go, if 
you feel like giving it all up, remember these last few 
words and then you'll know to let the words completely 
penetrate, and though it's sure to break your heart, it 
will rip your spirit open and rebirth a brand new start. 
Yesterday is meaningless, tomorrow is everything. I'll let 
my old spirit die and I'll let my new one sing. I'll spit 
in the face of my past cause it doesn't even matter 
anymore. I know memories are all you have, but mine aren't 
worth living for.