If I were you (and I wish that I were you),
All the things I'd do to make myself turn blue
I suppose I'd start by removing all my clothes,
Tie my pantyhose around my neck

I'll be that girl -- and you would be right over
If I were a field, you would be in clover
If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
And if I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow

If you will not have me as myself,
Perhaps as someone else
Perhaps as you I'll be worth noticing
Then even a eunuch won't resist
The magic of a kiss from such as me

I'll be that girl -- and you would be right over
If I were a field, you would be in clover
If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow

It's time to kick off your shoes,
Learn how to choose sadness
It's time to throw off those chains,
Addle our brains with madness

'cause we've got plenty of time
To grow old and die
But when at last your beauty's faded
You'll be glad that I have waited for you

When you're done
With being beautiful and young
When that course is run, then come to me

I'll be that girl -- and you would be right over
If I were a field, you would be in clover
If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow