Now I'm in a band people try to make me do things
Kiss arses and pay tribute
But I'm inclined today to do those things anyway
And I don't care who hears it

'Cause I'm a fan of the Go-Betweens
A fan of Robert, and I always have been
But I like Grant, now that I've met him
Because he's charming

Of all the stars, and all the would-be stars
I'd take him home, to my mum and dad
Yeah, he's charming, but he's a trouble-maker too
He amuses me greatly

I like Lindy and I saw Vickers
Pete stole the set list, and the itinerary
He wrote my name down as 'Tour Rent Boy'
It was hard, but so is life

I was making button badges
And I had too much time on my hands
I coloured them by hand
Pere Ubu and the Sugarcubes

Kids came in to watch me
But Pete & Sean just scorned
Just like they scorned Robert
But I secretly loved the big guy
He dressed like Sherlock Holmes

And he fixed us with a quizzative eye
Before singing such romances
That only the sods trampled underfoot by Thatcher
Could appreciate their love
Could appreciate their love