INTRO: G 
 
 
SPOKEN OVER INTRO: 
 
  -Alright, here's my tribute to everyone who's ever wanted to be a country singer, 
   includin' me. 
 
           G                                 Cadd9               G 
Well I'll starve myself so I can be skinny, just to get a record deal 
             Cadd9                                       G            D 
I'll let 'em paint me up and take pretty pictures, while I try to be myself 
      G                                   Cadd9         G 
And nobody wants an ugly fat singer, so I gots to do my part 
        Cadd9                G                              D                 G 
I get pumped-up, decked-out, hire myself a band, 'cause I'm gonna be a county star 
 
 
N/C 
 
 
CHORUS: 
    A                                      C                    G 
And then someday he's gonna fly to Vegas, sportin' him a copper tan 
                                             C                          A 
He's gonna spend most of the money he makes tourin' with his five-piece band 
      G                                        Cadd9                   D  
Yeah everybody says the ride is gonna end, but when it's all said and done 
     Cadd9            G                     D                   G 
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some 
 
 
SOLO: Cadd9  G  C  D  G 
 
 
SPOKEN OVER SOLO: 
 
  -Don't sound too bad to me, Bill 
  -No, it's a plan 
  -Retirement at it's best 
  -That's right, got me a Lear jet, a limo and everything, but you before you can have all 
   that, you got to do the groundwork first 
  -Bill, talk to me, show me the line-up 
  -Getcha a pencil and paper, here we go 
  -I got to hear about the pieces to this puzzle 
  -Alright 
 
          G                                       Cadd9          G 
Well I'll hire a manager, agent and producer, and get some publicity (it's a necessary evil) 
          Cadd9                             G                       D 
I'm gonna pay 'em all a big fat percentage jus' to tell me what I need (ouch) 
 G                                                      Cadd9                   G 
Then when I've had it and they've run me ragged and my record's in the discount bin 
G 
(whatcha gonna do Bill?) 
      Cadd9                            G                    D                    G 
I'll fire 'em all (get 'em Bill!) and tour much cheaper as just another old has-been 
 
 
N/C 
 
 
CHORUS: 
             A                                   C                      G 
Then you can bet one day he's gonna fly to Vegas sportin' him a copper tan 
G 
(Like George Hamilton) 
          G                                       C                        A 
He might keep a little more of the money he makes travellin' as a one-man band 
A 
(I don't need no roadie) 
      G                                               Cadd9                  D 
Yeah eh-everybody says Bill the ride's gonna end, but when it's all said and done 
     Cadd9            G                    D                   G 
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some 
          Cadd9           G                      D                   Cadd9   G 
Yeah I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some 
 
 
C  D  G