D               G
The ambulance sirens rang
        A                  D
As they wheeled her to the stand
F#                      G
Feathered, tarred, and handcuffed
      A
To a stretcher
     D           G
The doctor's diagnosis
     A         D
Was multiple sclerosis
    F#            G
An open and shut hopeless
         A
Fucking case


[Verse 2]
     D                 G
The wheels of Justice turned
          A                   D
Till the tires were bald and burned
     F#               G
And when they'd all adjourned
   A
I asked myself


[Chorus]
A       D        G
Am I un H A P P Y?
       A           D
Does a newborn baby cry?
    F#          G
Did Elvis really die?
      A
And I said to myself
        D                 G
Self Is wrestling fixed?


[Instrumental]
A  D  F#  G  A


[Chorus]
A    D        G
Am I un H A P P Y
        A          D
Does a newborn baby cry?
     F#         G
Dis Elvis really die?
G                            E
Did Little Red Riding wear a hood?
E                               E
Do the three bears shit in the woods?
E                 A
Was Humpty Dumpty fat?
 A
Does the Pope wear a funny hat?
 A            G
Is wrestling fixed?