[Karly] Hey Hey How are you? You cute, DTF? Let's cut this bullshit and just meet for a drink? Loved that photo of you in Paris What was your favorite restaurant when you were there? [Ed] I am the most miserable man that you can imagine [Karly] I don't normally contact people on this, but I find you very intriguing Something about your eyes [Ed] I have no friends [Karly] Dick pic, dick pic [Ed] I have no family Women are repulsed by me [Karly] Pineapple on pizza is good, fuck you [Ed] I'm just another awkward Introverted Isolated Waste of space Such a failure [Karly] Are you a 0% apr loan? Because I'm having trouble understanding your terms and you aren't showing any interest Yeah, that's kinda good So many men in my pocket I roll through my infinite scroll Never grows old Yes no, no yes yes Left right left left right left It's like candy It's like catnip It's like crack I dose I doze I daydream A stairwell A rooftop A sunbeam I could be so good at love I could be so good at love [Ed] Last night I was at the drug store Having trouble at the self-service checkout And a woman touched my back Tried to help me It felt like sparklers and strawberries Do other people get to feel this all the time? Whoa I feel my body stretched between two cliffs One side is fantasy The other reality I feel my fingers start to lose their grip And I can't hold on [Karly] I can't hold on Mama was a gambler Mama played the slots Watching the reels go round and round When will I get lucky When will I get my shot When will those three cherries line up? When will those three cherries line up? When will those three cherries line up? When will those three cherries line up? [All] When will those three cherries line up? When will those three cherries line up? When will those three cherries line up? When will those three cherries line up? [Karly] The arousal of uncertainty The irresistible pull of variable schedule rewards Wading through the fuckboy thot seeker incel catfish creepers And stumbling sophomore poetry magazine rejects I get so lonely after swiping And of course when I actually do have sex with someone It's usually like Wow, you watch a lot of porn [Ed] So then porn There is a drug Inside my head I just have to turn it on Fall into the screen and I'm gone And no one talks about this at all Oh, people laugh Oh, the hilarious scenarios The pizza man, the pool guy We laugh it away And that's what's so insidious This monster hides Subliminally corroding our lives And I know it's complicated I've read all the articles I'm not some prude religious conservative I support sex workers and sex positivity Let me take just a moment to signal my virtue By telling you all my pornography preferences [Karly] You know I actually used to like porn? I loved the ones with a story The female directed stuff Lesbian step-sibling massage Perfect european villas Good lighting and lingerie I love it when they make love And you're like, oh, that, that, that, that That is the sex that I want It can be so beautiful When two performers lock eyes And you can see The joy and communion The ancient divine union of sex We all know that's what sex is, right? It's fucking God But porn is solitaire Scentless and safe We have sucked the sacrament out of sex [Ed] Sex should be a rite of passage But our kids are watching fisting pissing hitting pounding And I don't wanna shame anyone's kink [Karly] Don't wanna shame no one's kink [Ed] It's fine if it's consensual But there's a level of psychological complexity there [Karly] Psychological complexity [Ed] That I certainly didn't understand at 13 Much less 11, or 9? [Both] It's catastrophic [Ed] There is an erectile dysfunction epidemic [Karly] Erectile dysfunction [Ed] That nobody talks about You know at least drug addicts and alcoholics are kind of cool Musicians, artists, their redemption stories are honored Someone has an ah chip, good on you bro But porn? No way man No one fucking honors that [Karly] And the porn dudes are always the ones That become such shits The petty whiplash cruelty of a man-child scorned [Men] Yeah I wouldn't have fucked you anyway You're about a 5, ugly and fat with shit hair A repressed and unfeminine lump Unfuckable cunt You need to be gagged [Karly] You need to be gagged But then it's like If I say something Am I pushing him somewhere darker? Radicalizing him? Like Is this guy the next fucking manifesto mass murderer? So I take on that weight too There's no fucking equivalency here [Ed] There are these guys online And they say The world is an all-encompassing blackpill That you constantly have to shove to the back corner of your mind There are these guys online And they say We don't get to fuck 'cause we're low status, introvert, ugly, awkward, outcast The chads and stacys of the world will never let us in The chads and stacys just laugh at us There are these guys online And they say It's us against them, make your mark And I feel the pull of that [Karly] I feel my body stretched between two cliffs One side is fantasy The other reality I feel my fingers start to lose their grip And I can't hold on [Ed] I can't hold on I feel my body stretched between two cliffs One side is fantasy The other reality I feel my fingers start to lose their grip And I can't hold on [Karly] I could be so good at love I could be so good at love I could be so good at love I could be so good at love I ask my mom, why do you keep going back there? Every day, working the slots, she's lost so much But then I keep doing these things I know aren't good for me But where am I supposed to meet people? Church? Fuck