Ampersand

I walk down my street at night
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and 
sirens
Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help 
the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply 
smiling

The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been 
effective
Has any girl in history said: Sure, you seem so nice, let's
 get it on
Still, I always shock them when I answer: Hi, my name's 
Amanda

And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I 
am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice 
completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's
 crazy

I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I 
started
When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame 
retardant
And now to dress the wounds calls into question how 
authentic they are
There's always someong criticizing me: She just likes 
playing hospital
Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: There's no such 
thing as accidents

But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and 
pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I 
am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice 
completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's
 crazy

As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but 
ironically
Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping 
soundly
And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament
That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative

And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice 
completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's
 crazy