Panty Rap

FZ:
"Hello there, welcome to the show. No, we are not going to 
play 'Cheepnis' - that's right - but we are collecting 
underpants, and we are collecting brassieres, we are 
collecting small articles of feminine underclothing. We are
 making a quilt... really - trust me. So here's the deal, 
if you're a girl and you're wearing a dress, whip 'em off, 
that's it, see? No problem. Even with a pin... what does it
 say? 'Nobody's perfect'. I guess so... What we got here? 
Oh. Now let's see what's on the inside. Uh huh, trainer 
coos. Okay. S'more, s'more... Underpants, brassieres, just 
send 'em up, no problem. Oh, you'll warm up to it. If 
you're wearing pants and you have bikinis on underneath 
your pants, rip the edges and pull 'em out; if you're 
wearing those big old ugly cotton jobs go to the toilet and
 take 'em off, okay? So far, ladies and gentlemen, the 
response from this particular community has not been 
especially gratifying. Perhaps you're a little bit too 
intellectual here. Here's something... tasteful, very 
tasteful.
.. You'll get into it. Oh, some more - look - it's almost 
like going to a, well, never mind. Heh, heh, heh. I just 
want to remind you that you are in direct competition with 
Chicago, which so far has produced the highest yield of 
female underclothes of any place in the United States. Oh, 
here's one, thank you very much. Chicago, if you'll recall,
 was the town in which we received the very famous Voodoo 
Butter Underpants... heh, heh... the pants that nearly 
broke Tommy Mars' neck. As soon as he took a whiff of 
those, his head went back this far, and he was heard to 
mutter 'Jeezus'. So, we don't care what kind of condition 
they're in. What've we got here? 'Twat Book', okay. Uh huh,
 very good - Zeets, whadduya think? He already has that 
one... no problem, though. Well, tonight you're gonna be 
entertained by; Ike Willis on guitar and vocals; Tommy Mars
 on keyboards and 'Jeezus'. You're also going to be 

entertaining yourselves a little bit, but don't worry about
 it. Steve Vai on guitar, vocals and light blue hair"
.

IKE:
"Another contestant over there".

FZ:
"Oh, some more? Okay. Vinnie Colaiuta on booklet. Now what 
does this say? 'Hi Frank, how about'...what does this say? 
'My hat from the...how about wearing my hat...wearing...' 
How about this, this is a college community, right? 'How 
about wearing, w-e-r-e-i-n-g never mind. Arthur Barrow on 
bass; Bob Harris on keyboards, high vocal trumpet and 
vegetables; and, ladies and gentlemen, the world-famous Ray
 White on guitar and vocals. Okay, you ready? One, two, 
three, four..."