Wanna Be Myself

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself
I forgot how to be myself
I just really miss myself
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself (yeah)
I forgot how to be myself (uh)
I just really miss myself (somebody asked me, yeah)

Somebody asked me: What do you have outside of music that 
really makes you happy?
I thought about it and I ain't have no answer
I started this shit ten years ago, it was just me and my 
manager
On the road, doin' any shows, we was fillin' up this 
calendar
But Matty's married now and it's a whole 'nothеr chapter
While I'm in Gerryland, I'm still hеre wildin' as a 
bachelor
Woke up next to a stranger, what's her name? I had to ask 
her
She prolly thinks I got it all, but it's pain behind this 
laughter
Hungover the mornin' after, close my drapes, make it 
blackout
Tryna put the pieces together from last night when I 
blacked out
On LSD, had a convo with my brother, it brought a lot up
See I don't ever take the uniform off, and now I'm clocked 
out

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself
I forgot how to be myself
I just really miss myself
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 

myself
I forgot how to be myself, yeah
I just really miss myself (yeah)

Comin' down in my room all alone listenin' to Mac
Last time he text me, I was fucked up, forgot I didn't hit 
him back
Wish I could have spoken up, man, I just want my brother 
back
But I mean, who am I to talk, bro? I'm still livin' like 
that
They'll never understand what it's like to be an artist
Make some shit I don't feel, yes men tell me it's the 
hardest
They just wanna keep their jobs, stay on my good side, keep
 their office
Keep us on the road, and no commission or the profits
Now everything is peachy, and yeah, I feel Avicii
Fifty thousand watchin' me, but I swear don't nobody see me
But it's rich people problems, it's stamps all in my 
passport
My mama tellin' me that: This is everything you asked for
What you want?

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself
I forgot how to be myself (how to be myself)
I just really miss myself (great mind, great mind)
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself
I forgot how to be myself, yeah
I just really miss myself

My anxiety increases the higher that I climb
I thought this shit would get easier, easier with time
I'm happy in my mind, but at least I tell myself that
Guess I'm damaged goods, I cannot help that
Drugs take the edge off, hide inside my comfort zone
Different girl every night, but worry I'ma die alone
Me against the world, can't decide now what side I'm on
Miss my family, but act like I can't even dial a phone

Cheated on my girl, I felt like shit, and then I sped off
Crept in the crib quiet, shower, took my YSL off
She woke up, grab my dick, I couldn't help it, had to get 
off
And if she gave me head, felt like I wanna blow my head off
Think everybody cheats, everybody will
Everybody leaves, but these drugs never will
I know that sounds fucked up, but in the end, it's real
till I'm lost on a bender askin' myself can I chill
This scale here will measure, five hundred pounds of 
pressure
The only thing to alleviate it is a stash in the dresser
Illuminate my ugly, you really sure you love me?
You deserve to know the truth, decide now what you think of
 me

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself
I forgot how to be myself
I just really miss myself
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be 
myself
I forgot how to be myself, yeah
I just really miss myself