Hark, what's that noise, out by the porch door?
Dear Granny, there's mummers, there's twenty or more.
Her old weathered face lightens up with a grin.
"Any mummers, nice mummers 'lowed in?"

Ah, come in lovely mummers, don't bother the snow,
We'll wipe up the water sure after you go.
And sit if yu can upon some mummers knee,
We'll see if we knows who ya be.

Ah, there's big ones and small ones, tall ones and thin,
There's boys dressed as women and girls dressed as men.
With humps on their backs and mitts on their feet,
My blessed we'll die with the heat.

Ah, but that one's a stranger, if ever was one,
With his underware stuffed and his trapdoor undone.
Is he wearing his mother's big fourty-two bra?
I knows but I'm not gonna say.

Oh, I suppose you fine mummers would turn down a drop,
Of home brew or alky, whatever you got.
Sure the one with his rubber boots on the wrong feet,
needs enough for to do him all week.

"Well I suppose you can dance?" Yah, they all nod their heads.
They've been tapping their feet ever since they came in.
And now that the drinks have been all passed around,
Sure the mummers are plankin' 'er down.

Ah, be careful the lamp, now hold on to the stove.
Don't you swing Granny hard, 'cause you know that she's old.
And never you mind how you buckles the floor,
'Cause the mummers have danced here before.

Oh my God, how hot is it? We'll never know.
Allow that we'll all get the devil's own cold.
Good night and good Christmas, mummers me dear,
Please God, we will see you next year.

Good night and good Christmas, mummers me dear,
Please God we will see you next year.

Please God we will see you next year.