One, two, three, four!

Oh, there's a wedding in the chapel
And the bride is oh so happy
And daddy's got a shotgun in his hand
The groom is sweatin' bullets
As the priest steps to the pulpit
He's about to make this boy into a man

Sweet Jesus in the Garden
Won't you grant this boy a pardon
For it's true, he really don't know what he's done
You better lock the church door tight
'Cause at the slightest crack of light
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!

He's gonna run
He's gonna fly
He's out the door and down the street
And he won't say goodbye
The diapers and the diatribes of her daddy on the rum
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!

Was it the rubbing or the tugging
Put a bun in Nancy's oven
She's praying she's not starting to show
But the wedding's set for April
And she's known since November
She ain't got hells chance of a ball of snow
Aye!

Sweet Jesus in the Garden
Won't you grant this boy a pardon
For it's true, he really don't know what he's done
You better lock the church door tight
'Cause at the slightest crack of light
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!

He's gonna run
He's gonna fly
He's out the door and down the street
And he won't say goodbye
The diapers and the diatribes of her daddy on the rum
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!

What in the Lord's name was he thinking
You can't blame this all on drinking
You can count the family teeth upon one hand
By midnight he was muddled, oh her gene pool is a puddle
Now he might be the daddy of his own man

Sweet Jesus in the Garden
Won't you grant this boy a pardon
For it's true, he really don't know what he's done
You better lock the church door tight
'Cause at the slightest crack of light
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!

He's gonna run
He's gonna fly
He's out the door and down the street
And he won't say goodbye
The diapers and diatribes of her daddy on the rum
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!

He's gonna run
He's gonna fly
He's out the door and down the street
And he won't say goodbye
The diapers and diatribes of her daddy on the rum
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!
That boy is gonna hit the ground and run!