I had a lot of garlic but I lost it in the war
I know it was symbolic but I forget what it stood for
I'm feeling kind of edgy so I'd better buy some more
When you come back to me
When you come back

I wish I had remembered all the cheese for which you care
I always said Camembert though I know it's Camembert
I think it's rather stinky but I'd eat it on a dare
When you come back to me
When you come back

Now I know just how Moses felt when parting the Red Sea
I talk like Teddy Roosevelt and bake like Sara Lee
I want to be your manna, girl, I'll fall for you for free
When you come back to me
When you come back

Life was beautiful, life was sweet
Life was an apple I wanted to eat
I knelt down and I kissed your feet
Though they stunk
But now life's hideous, life is grim
Since you gave your potatoes to him
Since you gave all your jewels to Jim
And I'm sunk
Who'd have thunk

In love I am a veteran, it's ruined my whole life
And things won't get much better when I take you for my wife
You cut my heart right open and you handed me the knife
When you came back to me
When you came back