(Fast waltz with wildlife.)

We could never understand
Why Mama ran away
'Cause we were all in hog heaven
When the family band would play

Grandma found a brand new sound
Tickling her canary. (Bird trill)
Lord, she made that poor thing sing
'Til it wasn't sanitary.
Uncle Pete kept the beat
Squeezing on a frog (Croak).
Baby sister raised a blister
Gumming on the dog. (Dog bark optional.)

Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)

(Musical interlude here for twin fiddles, bird, and frog.)

Old aunt Grace sang the bass.
Grampa sang soprano.
Papa Joe ran his toes
Up and down the old piano.
We could never understand
Why Mama ran away,
'Cause we were all in hog heaven
When the Family Band would play.

(All together now, with a Mexican feeling!)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)
Ay ay-------(Croak) (Tweet)

(And, of course, a retarded ending.)