G Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas. Well you cleaned up! Whadya git (stop) D Five flannel shirts G Four big mud tires C Three shotgun shells D Two hunting dogs G C G And some parts to a Mustang GT. G Hey Bubba you got gypped there's 12 days to Christmas I know that, I got it covered Look over in the corner That's yours too Yea. Chorus: D Twelve-pack of Bud Eleven Wrastlin' tickets Ten o' Copenhagen Nine years probation Eight table dancers Seven packs of Redman Six cans of Spam G D Five flannel shirts G Four big mud tires C Three shotgun shells D Two hunting dogs G D A G And some parts to a Mustang GT. E Man this ain't normal Christmas presents No they're redneck gifts Redneck gifts Yea you know like If you buy your wife earrings that doubled as fishing lures Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells Perhaps if you think The Nutcracker is something you did off a high- dive Or if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus What's wrong with that I didn't say anything wrong with it It's hard to beat. Chorus: G Well you know you can't really consider it a Christmas Less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama You're not listenin' to me Get the car key outta your ear That's where the nine years probation comes in I'm gonna do it for ya again Now listen. Chorus: Are you cryin' No, just my alergies Happy Holidays everybody.
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