G 
Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart 
Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas. 
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git 
(stop)       D 
Five flannel shirts 
G 
Four big mud tires 
C 
Three shotgun shells 
D 
Two hunting dogs 
         G                  C G 
And some parts to a Mustang GT. 
 
G 
Hey Bubba you got gypped there's 12 days to Christmas 
I know that, I got it covered Look over in the corner 
That's yours too 
Yea. 
 
Chorus: 
D 
Twelve-pack of Bud 
Eleven Wrastlin' tickets 
Ten o' Copenhagen 
Nine years probation 
Eight table dancers 
Seven packs of Redman 
Six cans of Spam 
G            D 
Five flannel shirts 
G 
Four big mud tires 
C 
Three shotgun shells 
D 
Two hunting dogs 
         G          D       A G 
And some parts to a Mustang GT. 
 
E 
Man this ain't normal Christmas presents 
No they're redneck gifts 
Redneck gifts 
Yea you know like  
If you buy your wife earrings that doubled as fishing lures 
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells 
Perhaps if you think The Nutcracker is something you did off a high- 
dive 
Or if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights 
Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus 
What's wrong with that 
I didn't say anything wrong with it 
It's hard to beat. 
Chorus: 
 
G 
Well you know you can't really consider it a Christmas  
Less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama 
You're not listenin' to me  
Get the car key outta your ear 
That's where the nine years probation comes in 
I'm gonna do it for ya again  
Now listen. 
 
Chorus: 
 
Are you cryin' 
No, just my alergies 
Happy Holidays everybody.