If Stewart talked, what would he say?
Enough to keep you here ten more years
Where we zap ya with our therapy
Throw the switch on your fantasies

With our little electric ring
Clamped around your love thang
Flash ya pictures, Clockwork Orange-style
Let's see what makes Stewart smile

Yow! Yow! Yow!
Try not to expand
Yow! Yow! Yow!
Don't trip the Plethysmograph

If the machine catches you erect
Ain't no way you're getting' outta here
Back to aversion therapy
As we watch our toys watch you

Flood your face with ammonia gas
And scent of rotting placentas
Little electric shock or two
This is how we cure you

Yow! Yow! Yow!
Don't let it expand
Yow! Yow! Yow!
Can't trick the Plethysmograph

Little girls and boys, panties past their thighs
Try not to rise 3 strokes you're out
Comely amputees scratch themselves for fleas
Down at Muscle Beach 3 strokes you're out

Grand Wizard Newt in a sailor suit
Dancing with a flute 3 strokes you're out
Brazilian babes titties made of clay
Spread their waxy legs for Great Danes

Who invents this stuff? Do their kids join cults?
What do they fantasize to get themselves off
Wanna see child porn? Join the vice squad
In the name of correction we play with all we want

Nothing is private any more
Lie detectors were never this fun
Says the Attorney General man
As he ends the morning prayer meeting

Back to his office for electronic ring
Clamps it on his sinful thang
Rewind the tape, lemme see some more
So I can feel my eagle soar

Yow! Yow! Yow!
He's speaking in tongues
Yow! Yow! Yow!
Now he can't shut it off
Yow! Yow! Yow!
Crashing through the glass
Yow! Yow! Yow!
Praise the Plethysmograph