Well, when you're down on your luck And you ain't got a buck In London you're a goner Even London bridge has fallen down And moved to Arizona Now I know why And I'll substantiate the rumor That the English sense of humor Is drier than the Texas sand You can put up your dukes And you can bet your boots That I'm leavin' just as fast as I can Chorus I wanna go home with the armadillo Good country music from amarillo and abilene The friendliest people and the prettiest women You've ever seen Well it's cold over here, and I swear I wish they'd turn the heat on And where in the world is that English girl I promised I would meet on the third floor And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I got Is a smoke and a cheap guitar My mind keeps roamin', my heart keeps longin' To be home in a Texas bar Chorus Well, I decided that, I'd get my cowboy hat And go down to marble arch station 'Cause when a texan fancies, he'll take his chances And chances will be takin, now that's for sure And them limey eyes, they were eyein' a prize That some people call manly footwear And they said you're from down south And when you open your mouth You always seem to put your foot there