INTRO: G  D  A7  D

     D                                        G                     D
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon
               G            D                                         A7
They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon
      D                                   G             D
They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu
     G                           D            A7                      D
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you

D                                           G              D
Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels
G                   D                                         A7
Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal
       D                                G           D
They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA
       G                           D                         A7                    D
If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid

   G (let ring)                   D
No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had
                                                          A7
No matter how they picked 'em, everything they played was bad
     D                                            G                   D
Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head
     G                           D            A7                    D
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead


G  O

D                        G                  D
Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal
    G              D                             A7
She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow
             D                                  G                  D
You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk
       G                      D                 A7                  D
We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that?

     G (let ring)               D
Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar
                                        A7
Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar
        D                                   G                  D
All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are
     G                   D                     A7          D
Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star


SPOKEN:
D                                               G        D
Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one
        G                  D
I say I ain't but a star I are
                                      A7
Do they not know who we think we are?
                                        
I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin!
D 
I think we need some of them w***es dejours
                 G                                      D
And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage
                            G                                                        D
We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good)