Dum diti dum dang dang di dum 2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum 1 bum said look Jack I'm the shit put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue she never liked me and I know that's true Kicked me out the crib becuz I got a tattoo No one loves me and no one cares and all I ever get is funny stares I can't help it if I'm nothin but a wino so I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos Stealin' bottles of booze outta A & P I know a girl at Denny's and I always eat free Got the same birthdate as Thomas Crapper for Christmas I bought the old man the Clapper I'm so dapper u can call me Dan but they call me round eye when I'm chilin in Japan Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain't no dike but fuck that ho and let me tell ya what I like I like bean burritos from Taco Bell I like trippin on acid with Dick Vitale My hair ain't plastic and my clothes aren't clashin' I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90's fashion Took too many many trip and now I can's stop trippin my mellow D. killed a rat in the kitchen U think u toke tuff I'd disagree nobody blows more doobs than Richard D. I get ill on hoes who I know ain't fertile I'm a real jet setter like Cecil turtle I'm down with Bill Bands so Fuck Joe Glover and while I'm at it muther fuck fat ass Sally Struthers U look fine girl kinda undercover but I can't fuck ya cuz you look like my mother I said dang digee dang di dang dang it ain't Eric Estrada or Kool and The Gang U know I hand in the Clem chillin on the strip with all them mother fuckers who slang that shit U know I'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster u sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster" Lifes a big joke and that's how it strikes me but fuck it cuz I know "Somebody up there likes me." Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'