Let Me Be Alone

Feel like I shouldn’t talk about the knives or the guns
When they can't even serve water in the schools where I'm 
from
Sometimes late at nite I think “what the fuck am I doing?”
Its like the better I become at this music
The worse I get at being human
Meanwhile I try act normal
Try and go through the motions
When in reality I'm just waiting to saw someones chest open
They say I'm lucky for the opportunities that I've had
But I believe I paid in full for these so just try and 
understand
The truth is I hate the shows
Truth is I hate the road
I hate my face and my voice and my name they seem to know
And had I known it would turn out like this
I wouldn't have fought for my life I would’ve laid there in
 my piss
When they shot me and they stabbed me I wouldn't have tried
 to walk
I would’ve laid there and bled and went to God and had that
 talk
I would’ve never crawled home to tell my friend I had been 
shot
And had him help me through it whether he wanted to or not
Years later the very same friend cut his throat
Did I help him like he helped me truth is I don't know
They said a millimeter deeper neither of us would’ve made 
it
And it makes me think of us playing as kids and how our 
days went
And his dad raised us both so its kind of like were 
brothers
While he sits at home and kills himself I'm out here 
killing others
Now his dad has passed away so no one keeps us in line

I wish I could bring him back I wish the lord had taken 
mine

I remember how we met I saw you shoot that kid
I didn't like him, didn't help him but you didn't know if I
 did
Investigated for the shooting and I never told em nothin
So you made me go on a mission to make sure I could be 
trusted
You gave me that gun and I shot at everybody
From then on it was us up against anybody
Years later you told me you had came back to kill me
And you don't know what told you not to but you just had a 
feeling
Know I still remember all the crazy things we did
Know I fall apart when I see your kid
Got your name on my wrist where the hand cuffs are placed
I pray that you protect me every time I'm in the cage
Your kid's mother hates me cuz that was my gun
And you did the time for me even though you had a son
My responsibility to anyone else means nothing
I see your killer out in public I'll shoot him in front of 
his children