Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? Its a natural plant that
grows in the dirt.
You know whats not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard ons, thats not natural but
we got pills for that.
Were dedicating all our medical resources into keeping the old guys erect but were
putting people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt.
You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial on TV is a
prescription drug ad.
I cant watch TV for 4 minutes without thinking I have 5 serious diseases.
Like, do you ever wake up tired in the mornings, oh my god I have this, write this
down whatever it is I have this.
Half the time you dont even know what the commercial is, there are people running
through fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
That is the greatest disease ever, how did you get that? that disease comes with a
hot chick and a puppy.
The schools now, its all about self esteem in schools.
Build the kids self esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem whos gonna dance in our strip clubs?
Whats gonna happen to our porno industry? These women dont just grow on trees.
It takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot of dance recitals before you decide to
go blow a goat on the internet for 50 bucks.
And if that disappears where does that leave me on a Friday with my new high speed
connection?
If you sing sing sing,
Sing your song,
Sing for me, come on sing,
Sing sing sing,
sing your song,
sing for me
Mastermind is another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorist masterminds that are being killed over in
the middle east.
Terrorist masterminds.
Masterminds sort of a lofty way to describe what these people do dont you think?
Theyre not masterminds.
Okay you take bomb right and you put in back pack and you get on bus and you blow
yourself up
Why do I have to blow myself up, why dont I put..
Whos the fucking mastermind here me or you?
Americans lets face it weve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity - Obesity.
They say we are in the middle of an obesity epidemic an epidemic like its polio.
Like, well be telling our grand kids about in one day THE GREAT OBESITY EPIDEMIC OF
2004.
How did you get through it granpa?
Oh it was horrible Johnny but there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.
Nobody knows why we are getting fatter look at our lifestyles.
Ill sit at a drive through - Ill sit there behind 15 other cars instead of getting
up and making the 8 foot walk over to the totally empty counter.
