I'm a tourist at the poorest place on earth.
I've got a straw hat, palm tree shirt...
Throw a cent, they'll lick you...
Bring you monkey on a stick...

Watch them, they will try to rob you blind!
Got to read those tell-tale signs...
Never take their word...
Deep down, they know they're here to serve

Sun king...

Hear me hum "god save the queen"
Line them up rows age 13...
I'll take a dozen, farmer
Five cadavers baked in lava...

Evening you can hear hills come alive
Natives gallop over mines
Like it was marlboro country
Sad it never touches me...

Master...

Bwana...

I'll take a brandy on the rocks
Your shrunken head packed in a box...
Something to take home to mother!