Garden party held today Invites call the debs to play Social climbers polish ladders Wayward sons again have fathers Hello, Dad, hello, dad Edgy eggs and queuing cumbers Rudely wakened from their slumbers Time has come again for slaughter O on the lawns by still Cam waters A slaughter, it's a slaughter Champagne corks are firing at the sun again Swooping swallows chased by violins again Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again Oh God not again Aperitifs consumed en masse Display their owners on the grass Couples loiter in the cloisters social leeches quoting Chaucer Doctor's son a parson's daughter W where why not and should they oughta Please don't lie upon the grass Unless accompanied by a fellow May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say Rugger is the tops, a game for men they say I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm rucking,I'm fucking So welcome, it's a party Angie chalks another blue Mother smiles she did it too Chitters chat and gossips lash Posers pose, pressmen flash Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms Society columns now ensured, returns to mingle with the crowds Oh what a crowd Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say Beagling on the downs, oh please so come they say Garden party held today they say Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say.