Stop looking at me now dude
Don't give me that stupid stare
Seems to me you never saw
A guy without weenie hair

Slap my shoulders, comfort me
Say I shouldn't care
But obviously you're not the one
With the missing weenie hair

I've got no weenie hair
I've got no weenie hair

Get around to find some help
Is anybody out there?
I get on my knees and start to pray
Please trade me your spare

I am bald, yes I am naked
All the way down there
I want a wig of pubic hair
To hide the lack of weenie hair

I've got no weenie hair
I've got no weenie hair

Weenie hair
Weenie hair
Weenie hair

I've got no weenie hair
I've got no weenie hair

I'm the Kojak of the Triple X
No curlies in my underwear
I'd rather be a normal guy
And look like a grizzly bear

Jokes at school, don't think it's fair
I sing about my weenie hair
Make my day if you dare
I'll burn off all your weenie hair

I've got no weenie hair
I've got no weenie hair
I've got no weenie hair
I've got no weenie hair

(I've got no) Weenie hair
(I've got no) Weenie hair
(I've got no) Weenie hair
I've got no