Asked my daddy when I was thirteen "Daddy, can you tell me what a lover really means?" His eyes went glassy, not a word was said He poured another beer and his face turned red Asked my mother, she acted the same She never looked up, she seemed so ashamed Asked my teacher, he reached for the cane He said "Don't mention that subject again" (Read about love) I read it in a magazine (Read about love) Cosmo and Seventeen (Read about love) In the back of Hustler, Hustler, Hustler So I know what makes girls sigh And I know why girls cry So don't tell me I don't understand What makes a woman and what makes a man I've never been to heaven But at least I've read about love My big brother told me when I was fourteen It's time I showed you what a lover really means Girls like kissing and romance too But a boy's got to know what a man's got to do He gave me a book, the cover was plain Written by a doctor with a German name It had glossy pictures, serious stuff I read it seven times, then I knew it well enough (Read about love) And now I've got you (Read about love) Where I want you (Read about love) I got you on the test bed, test bed, test bed So why don't you moan and sigh? And why do you sit there and cry? I do everything I'm supposed to do If something's wrong, then it must be you I know the ways of a woman I've read about love Well, well, well When I touch you there it's supposed to feel nice That's what it said in reader's advice I've never been to heaven But at least I've read about love