Never ask a reader Yeah, yeah Yeah, never ask a reader La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da -da-da Never ask a reader: Don't you have enough books? Brother, don't be brave That question almost sent me to an early grave And don't say: It's just fiction with that little grin 'Cause now she's crying since chapter thirty-six killed him And don't you ever ask her: Where's this addiction going? Unless you wanna watch another bookshelf growing Learn real fast some thoughts are better left unsaid A reader wife keeps score of every reckless thing you said Never ask a reader why she needs more books Never say: He's not real, like you don't know how this works Never ask: Do you have enough space? And don't bring up that tbr, she'll shrug and rearrange the place Never ask a reader: What's your favorite book? She'll name at least eleven, then she'll end you with a look I once asked why she bought three versions of the same title I knew in that moment I should not start a riot Apparently, sprayed edges are financially essential And special edition hardcovers are basically collectible You think you're being helpful, you think you're being wise You ask about her tbr stack and watch the danger rise Why buy the whole series before reading book one? She said cliffhangers exist and I refuse to be undone Now I sit there in silence, handing tissues with respect 'Cause fictional heartbreak hits like a train wreck Never ask a reader why she needs more books Never say: He's not real, like you don't know how this works Never ask: Where's that one going? Or don't you have enough? And if you question signed editions, she might start to play rough Never ask a reader, what's this one about? You'll lose the next three hours when the tea comes out 'Cause he's not real might actually start a fight One wrong comment, you'll be on the couch tonight Never ask a reader when she's coming to bed Cause somehow you'll lose to a fictional man instead Never ask a reader La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da -da Never ask a reader why wingspan matters Or how he touches her with shadows You'll watch her innocence shatter Never ask a reader how much she spends Or she'll use that credit card while your bank account descends Never ask a reader if she's buying more again Smile, nod, hold the stack, and accept your fate, my friend Yeah Never ask a reader