It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My friends wont let me join in any games
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'Cause there's something wrong with me
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity

I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
On Christmas

Hanukkah is nice but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing
Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh
And what the fuck is up with lighting all these
Fucking candles tell me please?!

I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
'Cause I'm Hebrew
On Christmas

Hey little boy I couldn't help but hear
Your feeling left out of Christmas cheer
And I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month you should be glad

'Cause its nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all
You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity
You don't have to have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family

And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath is stinky breath on me

That's right, your a Jew!

A styling Jew!

Its a good time to be Hebrew
On Christmas

On Christmas