What did I do wrong?
Oh, you nearly drove me cuckoo.
Am I really all that bad?
You're worse than Hannibal Lector, Charlie Manson, Freddie Kruger.
Why are we still together?
Oh, I can't leave you till you're dead.
You mean, "till death do us part"?
I mean like cyanide strangulation or an axe through your head.
It was lucky for us I turned the radio on.
They say that music soothes the savage beast.
There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red.
The two of us would surely have ended up dead
You stopped us from killing each other. (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
You'll never know, but you saved our lives. (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
I've never thrown my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales.
Still haven't solved our problem.
You mean we hate each other's guts
Still wanna poison your pizza
And I still wanna cut off your nuts
I phoned the marriage guidance
I tied the phone line round your neck
I'm sick of all this hatred
Oh that'll be the arsenic making you sick.
You were about to drive me over the edge of a cliff
As I tried to jump out, I knocked the stereo on.
You changed your mind and then slammed on the brakes.
It was lucky for us; we'd bought his greatest hits!
You stopped us from killing each other. (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
You'll never know, but you saved our lives. (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
I've never thrown my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales.
And now our war is over.
I've lost the urge to break your neck.
I owe my life to "What's new, pussy cat?".
Delilah stopped me hating you and wishing you dead.
Oh, I used to call you Satan.
And you were Cruella De'ville.
But now you call me your Delilah.
And now I'm not your Lucifer.
And I am just a pussycat.
But just a word of warning now
Just in case we ever get tired of his voice.
I know the Mafia, Godzilla, King Kong.
And I know an atom bomb that's going for a song
You stopped us from killing each other. (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
You'll never know, but you saved our lives. (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
I've never thrown my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales.