If you love your lady then here's some good advice
If you want her to stay with you then don't go treating her nice
If you buy her flowers she'll drop you twice as fast
So do what Steel Panther does and stick it right in her ass

Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Fuck that lady right
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
She won't put up a fight

If you're at the strip joint hanging out with the guys
When you get a table dance just look her in the eyes
Tell her that she's ugly and treat her really mean
She'd really want to fuck you 'cause strippers have low self esteem
Then you can

Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Fuck that dancer girl
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Just like Ron Jeremy would, yeah
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Use your spit for lube
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Screw her poopie too

Don't be retarded, you've gotta listen to my song (to this song)
Don't be afraid to get some penis on your tongue
Hit her in the shitter
Gotta treat her like a critter

Treat her like a critter
Fuck, fuck, yeah
Treat her like a critter
Woah, she really likes it
Treat her like a critter
Yeah, my littles slut girl
Treat her like a critter
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
She likes it in the ass
Ooh yeah yeah yeah