I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth
She's got a pad down at 34th and Vine
Sellin' little bottles of
Love Potion Number Nine

I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I'd been this way since 1956
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign
She said "What you need is
Love Potion Number Nine"

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink"
It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissin' everything in sight
But when I kissed the cop down at 34th and Vine

He broke my little bottle of
Love Potion Number Nine
Love Potion Number Nine
Love Potion Number Nine
Love Potion Number Nine