Spent last winter playing in the sand
With the prisoners of the motherland
Damn hotel is feeling like a cell

And even paradise can be so cruel
Sitting by the swimming pool
Trying to keep my head together
In that hot Australia weather

Three days to kill and my per diem's getting low
'Cause I spent all my money calling long distance
Calling long distance, such a long way from home

Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through?
Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance,
long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance

Now the Road Hog's face is turning red
Larry's still asleep in bed
Romeo he can't get no head at all
And the Doctor looks on so annoyed
You disappoint me, Mr. Boyd
And the Electric Dwarf wishes he was six foot tall

Now Romeo's patience is wearing thin
C'mon baby, let me in
It's five a.m. and I've been creeping 'round the hall
Got no resistance calling long distance
You sound so close but your such a long way from home

Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through?
Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance,
long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance

Still no points for my merrymen,
Except Ricard, he just scored ten
Now Road Hog's getting drunk again
And I only get to hold my pen
Instead of what I love to hold the most.

I feel so lonesome I could cry
Count the hours as they roll by
It's day time now
I think I'll make a call

Hello long distance, calling long distance
You sound so close but you're such a long way from home
You're such a long way from home

Have to admit I got no resistance to the red light on the wall
The message said I got a call,
long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance