Hey girl
   I got somethin' real important to give you
   So just sit down and listen

   Fm                        Gm             Cm
   Girl you know we've been together such a long long time
   (Such a long time)
   Fm             Gm         Cm
       And now I'm ready   to lay it on the line
   Fm                Gm               Cm
   Wow, you know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide
   (Open wide)
   Fm            Gm                           Cm
   Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
   (What's on my mind)

Fm            Gm
   A gift real special,
      Cm
   So take off the top
                 Fm
   take a look inside
Gm                   Cm
   It's my dick in a box
   (It's in a box)

   Fm               Gm
   Not gonna get you a diamond ring
   Cm
   That sort of gift don't mean anything
   Fm                 Gm
   Not gonna get you a fancy car
   Cm
   Girl, ya gotta know you're my shinin' star

   ---                 Gm
   Not gonna get you a house in the hills
     Cm
   A girl like you needs somethin' real
   Fm                     Gm
   Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
   Cm
   Somethin' special girl

                     Fm (let ring)
   It's my dick in a box
Gm              Cm
   My dick in a box babe
                     Fm
   It's my dick in a box
Gm                   Cm
   Ooh, my dick in a box girl

           ---            Gm
   See I'm wise enough to know
                     Cm
   When a gift needs givin', and I got just the one
Fm              Gm                           Cm
   Somethin' to show ya that you are second to none

              Fm                   Gm
   To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
        Cm
   It's easy to do just follow these steps:

  ( Fm )    Gm
   1, cut a hole in a box
   Cm
   2, put your junk in that box
  ( Fm )        Gm
   3, make her open the box
   Cm
   And that's the way you do it

     (no chords)
   It's my dick in a box
                Cm
   My dick in a box babe
                     Fm
   It's my dick in a box
     Gm              Cm
   Ooh, my dick in a box girl

   ( Fm )      ( Gm )
   Christmas, dick in a box
   ( Cm )
   Hanukkah, dick in a box
   ( Fm )      ( Gm )
   Kwanzaa, a dick in a box
   Cm
   Every single holiday a dick in a box

   Fm                            Gm
   Over at your parents' house, a dick in a box
   Cm
   Mid-day at the grocery store, a dick in a box
   Fm                Gm               Cm
   Backstage at the CMA's, a dick in a box, yeah yeah yeah