It's cold outside, and up your nose Your bogeys freeze like icicles I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time Your dad is making sure the roof Can withstand any reindeer hoof I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time Your mum is roasting turkey and your granny wants to boil it But they still can't stop the Brussels sprouts from tasting like the toilet When all the grown-ups seem to drink a little too much wine I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time You let a big fat man with a long white beard Inside your home and it don't seem weird I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time If you think that's odd, then check this out There's a six-foot tree inside your house! It makes no sense - it must be Christmas time The mice sleep with the cats because it stops them getting colder And the fleas are building snowmen in the dandruff on your shoulder When everyone is singing unrehearsed in perfect rhyme I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time It must be Christmas time It must be Christmas time It must be Christmas time It must be Christmas time I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time Due to fairy lights, your utility bill's unusually high So leave a note for Santa but don't give him things to eat 'Cause he's only one mince pie away from morbidly obese! I'm beginning to think it must be Christmas time All the sensible folks are home because they ordered stuff online I'm beginning to think it looks like I'm beginning to think it sounds like If it looks and sounds and feels like Then it must be Christmas time!