Seven Drunken Nights

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse 
should be?

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could
 be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should
 be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk 
could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me

Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should
 be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk 
could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should 
be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots 
should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could 
be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more

But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk 
could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should 
be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands 
should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before

As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly 
tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing where my old thing should
 be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or 
more
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before