They people the town with dominoes
Half price after dark
It’s a half masked, two-faced place to go
Good thing the world’s not flat
I’d be backing away from there
The second hand jacket from the fire brigade
Tries to not look drenched
While the damp umbrella in the corner
Hides a humble fifty pence
You would have to hold us back

Rod and alcohol combine
A glass of gin and tonight’s the night
A sobering thought springs to my mind so I get them in

There’s the anecdote about an argument
With the singer from jellyfish
Made a secretive call to some friends of mine
For a gift of twenty quid
Just enough to get us pished almost

Another drunk pub quiz compare
Another drink, just to make it fair
I see it’s almost afternoon so I get them in

Turn another page past the telly guide
And the pissed cartoonist’s strip
Take a telephone trip to the lonely hearts’ armchair party night
Or explorers can buy a wife from bangkok

One day everything turns out right
The next is the end of that era
But I bottle up and keep it inside
I’m in shipshape

Rod and alcohol combine
A glass of wine and tonight’s the night
A sobering thought springs to my mind so I get them in