Am (palm muted.  Got that same beat as on the real adds) 
Spoken: 
Joining today's modern defense force is hard enough.  First you have to choose: 
Navy, Airfoce, Army, Kiss Army, Salvation Army, Army of Darkness, but even when  
you've chosen, you have to make the grade. 
 
(All chords palm muted for first verse) 
Verse: 
Am                        F 
I'm way too skinny for the Army? 
Am                      G 
Way too slender for the job? 
Am                  F 
What can I do if my country doesn't want me cause 
   Am                           G 
My talents only stretch to mini golf? 
Am                         F 
I'm way too uncool for the Army 
Am                           G 
All that running through car tyres 
Am                         F 
I guess that would come in handy if you invaded  
  Am                                G 
A country whose terrain was all car tyres. 
 
Chorus:(clean) 
        C 
But I'm skinny and unclever 
      Am 
Maybe now more than ever 
        F                         G 
The technology has caught up with me 
             Am 
If wars have gone all electronic 
        C 
I could fight them with my joystick 
   F                            G 
As long as they bring pizza to me 
                         C 
Then I could be in the Army. 
 
Verse 2: 
Am                  F       
It's not tricky to imagine 
C                   G      Am 
Me in a bunker at a screen 
                         F 
Controlling reconaisance robots 
                     C 
Maybe mine detecting robots 
                            G 
Even robots who run through tyres 
 
Chorus: 
        C 
But I'm skinny and unclever 
      Am 
Maybe now more than ever 
        F                         G 
The technology has caught up with me 
             Am 
If wars have gone all electronic 
        C 
I could fight them with my joystick 
      F                               G 
While watching McLeod's Daughters on TV 
                        A# 
Then I could be in the Army. 
 
Verse 3: 
                    F 
I was never good at Pacman 
    C                            A# 
But at Defender I'd light up the skies 
                    F 
I was never good at Frogger 
     C                                  A# 
It's much to much like hopping all the tyres 
                          F 
And if I don't get in the Army 
  C                          A# 
I could become an evil mastermind 
                      F 
Live in an underwater tower 
    C                              A# 
And wearing shiny skivvies all the time 
                C 
That would be fine 
 
Chorus: 
C 
Skinny and unclever 
      Am 
Maybe now more than ever 
        F                         G 
The technology has caught up with me, (If I could make up my mind) 
             Am 
If wars have gone all electronic 
        C 
I could fight them with my joystick 
   F                           G 
As long as they bring pizza to me 
                        C 
Then I could be in the Army____.