Em  Am       Em       Am            Em
I'm counting back the number of the steps
    Am            Em       B7     C            B7
it took for me to get back on the wagon of the weekend
Em  Am           Em   Am             G
I'll use the autotimer to prove that I'll
     Am       C       D
get home with my imagination
G       Am       C           D
if they find the body in the basement
G      Am   C                  D
in the very house that she was raised in

Em  Am     Em       Am            Em
I'm taking down the number of the times
   Am              Em        B7       C               B7
so when we get the sign from god I'll be the first to call them
Em  Am     Em       Am            G
I'm taking back the number of the beast
      Am     C            D
cause six is not a pretty number
G        Am        C          D
eight or three are definitely better
G    Am      C              D
A is for the address on the letter
G      Am  C D  Em     Am  Em  Am  Em  Am  B7
to my alcoholic friends

Em   Am    Em   Am          Em
I'm trying hard not to be ashamed
Am              G       Am     C         D
not to know the name of who is waking up beside me
G      Am        C              D
or the date, the season, or the city
G      Am        C              D
but at least the ceiling's very pretty
G      Am         C              D
and if you are holding it against me
Em      B7    C      B7
I'll be on my best behavior
Em     B7        C      B7
taking shots for mother nature
Em      B7      C      B7
once my fist is in the cupboard
Em      B7    C       B7
love is never falling over

(repeat intro riff)
Em  Am  Em  Am  Em  Am  B7

G        Am       C         D
Should I choose a noble occupation?
G    Am      C            D
If I did I'd only show up late and
G        Am         C                D
sick and they would stare at me with hatred
G       Am   C                D
plus my only natural talent's wasted
G     Am  C D   G
on my alcoholic friends
   Am  C D   G
my alcoholic friends
    Am    C D   G
the party never ends
   Am  C D   Em
my alcoholic friends