G   C
   This is the I.I.A.P.
A7
The Illegal Immigration Assistance Program
D
A taxpayer-funded division of Oaknut
B7                                             Em
For Spanish press 1... Portuguese 2... Arabic 3...
       A7                                D7
Farsi 4... French 5... Swahili 6... German 7... Italian 8...
G7
And if you insist on English please stand by...

[Verse 1]
G
If you are thinkin' about illegal immigration
C
Be careful when you're choosin' the nation
D7                                                    G
'Cause breakin' the law in some countries is frowned upon
D7
Imagine that

[Verse 2]
G
Sneak into China and they'll call you a spy
C
And ship you to Mongolia till you die
D7                                                      G
And in Sudan they'll hang you and the camel you rode in on

[Verse 3]
G      C
Yeah and don't go a-hikin' and enter Iran
       G
And you might never be heard from again
A7                                       D7
And in Mexico you might face a firing squad

[Verse 4]
D7      G
Yeah and forget all about going to North Korea
             C
That's a great example of a bad idea
   D7
So when it comes down to it
                               G
There's only one option you've got

[Chorus]
G
Yeah come to the USA
A7
There's no penalty to pay
          D7                         G     D
Should you get caught illegally immigratin'
G
Come to the USA
A7
It will be your lucky day
                D7                                G
'Cause when you get in there's lots of goodies waitin'

[Chorus 2]
G
Like Healthcare, Welfare, Free Education
A7
Help with your Voter Registration
D7
And drivers license and credit cards
     G
And license plates for your old car

Lots of jobs for you to do
      A7
And employers who'll turn a blind eye too
D7            G
Come to the USA!

[Bridge]
G
No need to worry about the Constitution
      C
We'll help you start a house of prostitution
D7                                        G  D
If that's the kind of work that you wanna do
                     G
You see those gringo infidels are crazy
C
They'll give citizenship to your new baby
    D7                                        G
So you see there's really only one choice for you

[Chorus]
G
Come to the USA
A7
There's no penalty to pay
          D7                         G
Should you get caught illegally immigratin'

I said come to the USA
A7
It will be your lucky day
           D7                                      G
'Cause when you get in there's lots of goodies waitin'

[Chorus 2]
G
Yeah you get public housing and cable TV
A7                                   N.C
And food stamps and even Government cheese
D7
The borders are a swinging door
   G
Go home for a visit and come back for more
G
There's sanctuary and amnesty

[Outro]
A
Bring the whole damn family eventually
D7                G
Yeah come to the USA