Am                                                       E7
A Sultan sat on his oriental mat, in his harem in downtown Persia
     Am    G        F             E7    C                        G    C
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip, and he said to his servant Kersia
       G                        C                                 G/C
"Ah, curse ya, curse ya, curse ya! That's the worst cup of coffee in Persia!"

  G
Cause...

[Chorus]
 C                                                              G     C
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
G          C                                        G             C
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
  C                                             C         F
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
       C                 G           C          F                 C     G                 C
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

[Break]
Am / N.C.
"Ya got it? well join right in!"

[Verse]
 Am                                                                  E7
In days of old when knights and men were bold, and whiskey was much cheaper
    Am      G               F           E7        C             G/C
Ben Turpin rode to a coffee shop and showed his pistols to the keeper
  C          G                         C                  G/C
He said, "Stand and deliver! Can't you see that I'm all aquiver?"

  G
Cause...

[Chorus]
C                                                              G     C
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
G          C                                        G             C
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
  C                                             C         F
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
       C                 G           C          F                 C     G                 C
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

[Verse]
  Am                                                                     E7
When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart and he lost that Waterloo fight
     Am        G             F       E7            C                         G/C
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord, and he said "Those British can't half fight!
  C                        G   C                      G             G/C
Now you've had your Waterloo, sir, tell me what am I having with you, sir?"

G
Cause...

[Chorus]
C                                                              G     C
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
G          C                                        G             C
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
  C                                             C         F
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
       C                 G           C          F                 C     G                 C
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

[Break]
C / N.C
"Well, we didn't exactly expect you to sing along with that last part since
C / N.C.
It was in French. This is your last chance, however it is the people's magazine
Am / N.C.
Version of this song, and it goes like this:"

[Verse]
  Am                                                                          E7
Now King Solomon and his queen would carry on, so we heard in the ancient scandals
  Am          G          F            C           G           G/C
He bought her lots of silver coffee pots with diamond legs and handles
     G                 C                                G/C
And said the Queen of Sheba, "I'd rather have any old tea-bag."

 G
Cause...everybody!

[Chorus]
C                                                              G     C
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
G          C                                        G             C
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
  C                                             C         F
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
       C                 G           C          F                 C     G                 C
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

N.C.
(speeds up here)

C                                                              G     C
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
G          C                                        G             C
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
  C                                             C         F
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
       C                 G           C          F                 C     G                 C
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

C                                                              G     C
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
G          C                                        G             C
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
  C                                             C         F
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
       C                 G           C          F                 C     G                 C
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!