There's one thousand seven hundred and forty-two
People in this little town
And that one proverbial horse
And everybody here'd be more than happy
To spread a little gossip 'round
If it ain't about them, of course
The bank's called in Bubba's note
The Higgins boy's done got on dope
And ol' man Dodd's been peeping through windows with a telescope
How can there be

CHORUS:
So many ripples in this tiny puddle
So many hearts tossed on this little storm
In a town this shallow
When you stur it you'll find trouble like
So many ripples in a tiny puddle
Last year the local mayor got caught
Doin' the breast stroke in the typin' pool
Now that's hands-on politics
And Bubba's land, the banker bought it cause he knew
That's where they're building the county school
He's gonna get rich again
And two seniors are havin' babies
Ain't no ifs, ands or maybes, cause
When you hear it from the Avon lady, its the gospel truth
How can there be

CHORUS

Bridge:
It's a tempest in a teapot
It's a roaring little mouse
We call it the Days of Our Lives on the rural route

CHORUS