Yesterday I found out I have a porn addiction
And now I know why I live my life through fiction
And nobody talks to me on my block, yo
It's cause I took a bite of that tasty taco

I never have to delete my history
Because my secret ain't no mystery
And I go and favor all the best porn sites
With the animals, Asians, and the dykes

Standards set so high
Brainwashed by the lie

Brainwashed by the lie
Standards set so high

There's no idea what you might find
If you were looking through my sick mind

All last night I stared at the computer.
The girl didn't go down on the guy, I wanted to shoot her
Her boobs aren't real, her ass is fake
If masturbating was a competition then I'd take the cake.

Hell no, I don't wanna girlfriend
I'd rather close my eyes, stroke and pretend
My puppy died and I didn't even mourn
Cause I was to busy looking at the porn.

Yeah I'm a pervert, but I'm not gonna convert
I know this much is true
My pants are down, I look like a clown
But there's nothing I can do

Log on to pretend
Consume the message that they send
Observe the appeal
Of the pleasures you'll never feel

Jack off all night
Jack off all day
Whip out the hand lotion
And watch the time go flying away