INTRO: C C7 Fsus2 G7sus-G7 (2x)

    C                                   C7
Sid vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
    Fsus2               G7sus4              G7
And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
  C                             C7
A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele 
Fsus2                                G7sus4           G7
He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen 

   C                     C7
If only sid had had a ukulele, maybe he would have been happy
Fsus2                   G7sus4          G7
Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end 
   C                                  C7
He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead 
         Fsus2                          G7sus4              G7
He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend

   C                                 C7
So play your favourite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
     Fsus2                           G7sus4              G7
'Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing!
C                                C7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
    Fsus2                              G7sus4          G7
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele

Fsus2                       G7
Ukulele small and fierceful, Ukulele brave and peaceful
C                       Fsus2
You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
Fsus2                    G7
Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly 
Bb6
Ukulele banish evil ukulele save the people ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple

C                              C7
Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks 
     Fsus2                        G7sus4          G7
Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle 
   C                          C7
If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans 
   Fsus2                              G7sus4           G7
Had lost the plot completely see what happens when you muzzle

   C                      C7
A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream 
    Fsus2                                G7sus4    G7
And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns 
   C                                C7
It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
 Fsus2                            G7sus4            G7
About the same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb… YOU DO THE MATH 

   C                                 C7
So play your favourite cover song, especially if the words are wrong 
     Fsus2                           G7sus4              G7
'Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing 
C                                C7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
    Fsus2                                G7sus4       G7
And bring your flask of Jack to work and play your ukulele 

Fsus2                             G7
Ukulele, thing of wonder ukulele, ukulele wand of thunder 
C                        Fsus2
You can play the ukulele too, in London and down under 
Fsus2                                     G7
Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and neutral milk ho-
Bb6
tel the children crush the hatred play your ukulele naked and if anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it

C                         G7
Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs 
        Fsus2                           G7sus4        G7
Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment 
     C                             C7
Now imagine if john lennon had composed "imagine" on the ukulele
Fsus2                 G7sus4          G7
Maybe people would have truly got the message

    C                               C7
You may think my approach is simple-minded and naïve
           Fsus2                              G7sus4              G7
Like if you want to want the world then why not quit and feed the hungry?
    C                         C7
But people for millennia have needed music to survive
   Fsus2                           G7sus4              G7
And that's why i've promised john that i will not feel guilty

     C                                   C7
So play your favourite Beatles' song and make the subway fall in love
       Fsus2            G7sus4          G7
They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money 
C                               C7
Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer 
Fsus2                    G7sus4         G7
Play LCD sound system songs on your ukulele

C                                  C7
Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard 
    Fsus2                             G7sus4            G7
Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily
       C                                C7
You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic 
Fsus2                        G7sus4      G7
Holy fuck! it's so fantastic, playing ukulele

C                                 C7
Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark
   Fsus2
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work, your flask of jack, your vibrator, your fear of heights, your Nikon lens…

     C                                   C7
Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from "karate kid" 
     Fsus2                          G7sus4       G7
Your ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD
     C                                      C7
Your favourite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye
     Fsus2                               G7sus4                  G7
Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your nick drake tapes, your giving tree 
     C                                        C7
Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry
  Fsus2                                            C
Remember we're all going to die… so play your ukulele!